There is actually a difference in the way the sexes view the importance of long term care insurance. But why do women find it more important than men?
Because of this reason…Women have so much more to lose by not having long term care insurance than a man does.
Think about this. The average woman will outlive her husband by five years. This causes a dilemma for her in two ways:
1) The older you get, the more prevalent disabilities and the need for long term care are
2) She won’t have a spouse around to take care of her
She gets hit from both sides. A woman that reaches the age of 65 can expect to live an average of 20 more years. A man that reaches 65 can expect to live until age 81. This is reflected in the fact that over two-thirds of Americans over 85 in this country are women.
The older we get, the greater our likelihood of needing long term care. That’s why more than 70% of nursing home residents are women. And approximately 66% of people that receive some type of home care are women.
No wonder women see the importance of long term care insurance. They are at the most risk of needing it. But the situation is even more serious than that. Many older women live alone.
About 70% of women age 75 and up are widowed, divorced, or never married. And 48% live alone. This means they don’t have someone ‘in house’ to help them out if a long term care situation ever arises.
A lot of this has to do with the fact that women outlive their husbands. So while the average husband will enjoy receiving some sort of care from his wife, the average wife cannot expect her husband to still be around to give her care when she needs it.
Here’s how a situation can turn out. The husband’s health deteriorates, and the wife has to care for him until she needs outside help for his care. She’ll pay to get that help, whether it be nurse aides that come to the home, or she puts the husband in a nursing home or assisted living facility. The kids may also pitch in if they are financially able or if they are geographically close to their parents. The wife’s caregiving will take an emotional and physical toil on her. After she has spent all their assets caring for him, there won’t be any assets left for her to use when she needs to pay someone to take care of her. The kids will do what they can to help their mom, but sometimes they just can’t do enough. Then if she needs care she’ll have to rely on Medicaid since she is impoverished. This means the likelihood of her staying at home is slim to none. She will be admitted to a nursing home that accepts Medicaid.
This is an example of what can happen, and it’s not far from the truth. Benjamin Lipson wrote a fantastic book on how to choose the right long term care policy. It was aptly titled Choosing the Right Long-Term Care Insurance. In it he tells the story of a couple that came to his office to purchase a long term care policy.
When the couple walked in, the husband was soaking wet from his daily jog. He let Mr. Lipson know immediately that he was healthy and didn’t need long term care insurance. The wife was interested. The husband didn’t apply for coverage, but the wife did. She was approved for a policy but at a higher than standard rate since she had had cancer. This upset her, and her husband’s negativity toward long term care had rubbed off on her. She decided not to get the plan.
Two years later the husband became ill and needed long term care. Since they didn’t have any insurance, the wife had to take care of him herself. She developed back problems helping him on and off the toilet. She also had to spend all their assets to hire home care so he wouldn’t have to go to the nursing home. After the husband died, she had no assets left to provide home care for herself. She prematurely ended up in a nursing home on Medicaid. The husband cost his wife her independence because he was too proud to admit that he wasn’t invincible.
This story illustrates a truth we all know. Men think they are invincible… until they get sick. This man assumed he would die on the track or on the golf course. If it were up to me, I’d want to go quickly too. Preferably on a tennis court right after I win the match.
However, most people won’t be so lucky. Instead, the march toward the end of life can be a slow, expensive one. John Mellencamp said it best when he sang, “Oh, yeah life goes on. Long after the thrill of living is gone.”
So for any of you wives reading this… make your husband read this article. His pride could rob you of your independence in old age.
And for you husbands reading this… remember, even Muhammad Ali succumbed to a disease that made brushing his teeth a challenge. No one’s invincible.
Long term care insurance would have helped the couple in the example above. It can help your family avoid these hardships too.
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